Saturday, October 29, 2011
High up in the mountains,
looking out over the rim.
there the sky is clean blue.
There the trees glass green.
That’s the place I once lived in.
There life is aglow
aglow with a beam.
Throughout the night, under my bedcovers,
I would hearken the silence of night
and the sound of wind.
the snow falling soft and white.
Pure as my heart’s wishes.
It would fall on and on, on
the lovely cones of tree leaves
and the thick hill beneath the trees.
And the hills above the sky.
Today, the very same hills,
With changing patterns and whims,
They shroud a new look
With the first fall of snow…
So many secrets they preserve…
Only to me they show.
Deep whispers in the walls of my white castle..
A sudden dusk...
A loud whimper of a wistful longing
A new morning...
And the slipping sand in my hand
under a new moon....
A beautiful castle ....
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Can you think when was the last time, when you found solace with a companion of your sex? Bear that moment in your mind while vouching to read further.
We often come across terms like transgender, transman, transwoman, Polysexuality, omnisexuality, polysexuality, third gender people, two-spirit people, gender queer, transvestite et la! Do we actually understand what is it all guided by? In the boulevard of love stories, bush is not so green today. Men are no more men, and women no better fit in the frame of their sexuality. Turning your back to each other, you are pouting an affronted emotion, or complaining about a piqued ego. Has it not been enough for your while?
Think when did you last complain about your bad relation. (just to make sure that the soil is moist enough to sow this fresh variety of seed). Is it not more or less about worth?
I believe, what we are looking for in life is 'value'. People of dysfunctional families develop this sexual complexity, as they see the shredding of reason behind marriage and the pointless clinging to the love theories long cherished. The bottom-line is, they have realised that there was no Cinderella. And who knows if the other facts, long learned and adhered to, are serious enough? When even Cinderella wasn't, which they believed in through their childhood.
They have seen, in a dysfunctional mechanism, the coupling didn’t work. And you cannot physically relate to a gender, that you can not trust. And you start seeking satisfaction with someone from your gender, who feels his/her own emotions just as clearly, or roughly as you do. And you strip the gender holding you back. Sexual act is just the last cement to fix your new identity in a new life.
Here I am badly reminded of the Highway Stripper by A.K Ramanujan. I request you to step afore from voyeurism and decode the hidden aspect of it. A women stripping off her gender, just at a time when she is high on a highway! She is probably driving with that sense of freedom which often comes with a power over the steering wheel.
One last time, just think of the time, when you flinched at the idea of commitment in a relationship. Just a little mellowed form of transsexuality, where you are unable to completely accept that opposite sex? Commitment phobia is just a swerve of freedom. Freedom of what? Somewhere deep under, it is the fear of being defined under one sexuality.
This is something, which can probably just be felt and understood by writers, who have the patience to step into someone’s shoe.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Dreams twinkle in my eyes
But a world breaking down on the hinge side..
It is dusk
And the darkest and lightest colour of the day and night,
Come better as shades…
Time to come back home..
Time to stop and return to the abode …
Half asleep, I am just enough awake..
Half dead, I am just half alive
Besotted in my mind,
I am burned by my own dreams and desires
Turned to ashes
I am scalded under this little too vast sky…