I am a flavoured writer.. I can live every crease of mood. What fascinates me is the ringing of words. Mystifying expressions with de-mystifying intentions. Would love to get every new morning, with words and expressions close to my heart. More livable in my life. And things which are symbol of my life. I would love to draw castles of ....
And my creative mood was interrupted by silly things .. :/
Friday, February 18, 2011
When you murdered me
My blood was white.
My blood was bleached long back in childhood.
My spirit said no to any new colour.
And I survived colourless.
When you murdered me in the capacity of a switchblade
I didn’t shout. I was busy observing your gingerly efforts
You didn't know I had a white blood?
Till you aimed Forty one cuts in me
It’s a long story that worked to bleach me white.
When you crushed me, I still smelt fragrance.
Which assaulted your nose in disdain.
I had dreams in my eyes,
And an urge to fly
To express dance
To caper in energies of bubbles of laughter.
I was celebrating silence when you came to blade me.
You tampered with my brain,
And managed to snap me in forty one attempts.
Blood sluiced out in white.
I remember your expression.
There was pain on your face,
And were grumbling something about your pain
And I smiled
And I had an independence waiting on me to beat about.
I have realized
You could never
I could still smile…
And I can’t stop laughing
It took you forty one aims!
I was a tough nut to crack.
There are mysteries in me..
When you murdered me
My blood was white.
And your face was just as white..
It is a night time crash. I feel someone has just crashed in me. And I can not close my eyes...someone has just crashed in me. There are heights to be aimed, and a lot to be done.. and the flaring heat inside me, keeps my eyes wide open, as if tiredness, or sleep never touched me… there is something heavy on my eye lids. A stupor inside? I try to lull into sleep.. I slowly bring my eyes to a close... and in another accountable moment, I throw my eyes wide open. And something inside says.. you can’t sleep.
There is a sprite building up, and a tired body can not support it even by collecting all strength. A crash building up inside me…with a sense that time has left me behind...
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Wish I cud run above the hills with open arms, wish I cud fly like a mountain bird. Wish I cud break the shackles and be free! Wish I cud breath the scent of the sun, wish I cud live like the wind, unfurling to touch everything. And nothing cud touch me.. cud I be beyond everything! Sometimes it is good to think beyond the boundaries of a rational mind... sometime it is so “me’ to dream so big, that Iam taken high! And look around with an inebriated eye.. Sometimes it is so good to live with tightly shut eyes. Many times it is beautiful, to live your own created life.. It is so precious to understand the mumble of a jumble. It is amazing to read between the lines...It is so nerve vibrating to run mad on a broad empty road, without a purpose and a meaning to behold, and cover a mile in a jump, and world be stranded between your reality and my reality...
Friday, February 11, 2011
Why do I walk alone?
On a moonless night on a haunting stroll.
Time when even my shadow leaves me alone…
I have a red soul.
But now for a while,
My thoughts are not a fourth street whore
to an idea,
that I can’t behold
But now for a while,
I have a brain.
Not a transmuted skull,
a storage for all that goes.
Prowling away from the clemencies of the day?
Of a scalding sun
Of the sharp beams of sunny rays?
An insurgence of chemical views
and mechanical thoughts
A shadowless self.
But a better unpossessed body
A red soul
Speaks of life for me.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Years of dreams kept these greens fresh in me. An unhinging end of the world, among the deep dark forests, with an ancient temple in the middle, whose walls I can’t say were like chiseled stone. Rather the walls were the mud, baked by the time. A pure dream, that often woke me amidst the night, with a soft, breezy cool face, lost in the mesmerizing moment. It clouded my brain against anything that would pass me through the day. Casting a reverie. The boundaries of reality somewhere melted away, left to live with the flakes of this life on the edge of the world, without any physical presence.
It was morning when we had reached this unknown corner of the Himalayas, lost among the steeps of the hills. We had to park the car above the hill, and sway down on a narrow pathway. With a several foot deep trench on one side, and an overwhelming hill on the other, nature was more silent than I had ever experienced. We reached the high hills, walking among the trees. The powerful silence, the intensity of purity, was it only me experiencing it?
I held my mamma’s hand, pressing gently, and said “ I know this place mamma. I have been visiting it… I have been coming here since.. I don’t know when. … You remember, I have been telling you of the temple I have been dreaming of?”
Mummy was dumbstruck as she saw me, and it would not be till we came back to Delhi, that she would tell me, that there was something in me, through all the three days we were there. I was beautiful. More beautiful than she could ever express. With glassy, watery eyes seeing something too subtle. And my dad & sister would repeat that every time we would talk about the place. Stealing frequent glances at me.
And it was then, that I started reminiscing, of what I knew of the place. And the newness it had adopted, as the world turn outside, from the inner, comfortable world. A new world, that included a new me….
Sun dawned at 4. And soon it was a full moon night, with rising din of the forest filling the atmosphere. AT 7:30, it was a deep awake night, so intense that it could have been past midnight. Bathed in the sliver light, I was standing in the middle of the forest; in the premises of that old temple… a sense of endless wait engulfed me. The surmounting pine trees brought an uncanny feel of being related to them since what seemed an eternity. And the clouds of my dreams condensed to materialize tangibly. Mixing with the melted reality. Was I living a dream? Or dreaming a reality? Was I reliving the past life? A life that my flesh could never relate to…
There was me, full of aspirations and sprite for life.. and there was my silent ‘self’ of a past life, with a soul more vocal than my words in this life can ever be… I existed in the calmness of a life, balanced, and stuck between the love for the din of DJ parties and silence of my ‘self’. The pushes of my contemporary life, and the pulls of my past life met where I existed completing me…pulling me apart...which road should I take? The one bustling with humanity, or the quiet, lonely lane that will lead me to my cradle? Or am I destined to live a double life, to somehow find a balance between my twin selves?
This story is a part of Fire Freeze contest. You can post your story too, if you can see and give expression to what you feel and see as the chemical opposites existing in you. This competition is sparked off by Close Up.
If you really like my story, then please comment on it, and vote for me here.