Page 221 of my Autobiography

Things haven’t changed much. I am still standing there, and life seems to be running on the tracks of train. Finding out what I am, or particularly which corner of the universe I have come from, has transformed everything inside me, to the very outer appearance. Something inside me has gone under a sea change. To express it in the right feeling, it is like sitting in the compartment of an express, running blind towards somewhere. As a sedate person, I haven’t done much. Not moved 'a muscle' as they say. But a running train has carried me somewhere far. Yes. Somewhere far. Something transformed inside me. I am on a new plane today. Feeling is fresh, with the same me inside….

Driving on the wheels of aspirations, I aspire, I fail at times, and gear up all afresh, to start again and get something to my heart’s content. I haven’t hired a life. I am living it of my own. Working out something that is in my grain. I am unaffected by the bureaucracies of a tainted life!

Series of Short Stories.....

INTERACTION

One month had passed but the nightmares continued. He would wake up screaming and stare out of the window till sunrise. His dignity taken away and insomnia given in return. As a welcome gift perhaps. For them, it was just healthy interaction. All he longed for now was the day he would become a ‘senior’.


Beginning of a Novel..

“It was not a dark and stormy night, but quite the opposite actually”. Now that was something different, something ‘hatke’- a word used so often by those fat slobs at the publishing houses, that it had inadvertently registered itself at the back of Ruhaan’s head. What did they know about literature- could they even tell apart their Tolstoys from their Bhagats? COMROMISE. That was their crack cocaine. Nothing like an eye- catching sentence to begin a novel. Follow it up with a few pages of Bollywood- style masala and the readers are hooked. Then put in whatever literary rubbish you wish to, who cares. The publisher gets his bestseller and you realize the long cherished dream of your first novel in print.
Oh ! To think of people like them; sitting in their plush, air conditioned offices, thinking of cheap little tricks to sell a few thousand more copies of a book at the expense of Literature; governing the fate of writers like him. It used to drive him mad. But now it only brought a smirk to his face. 7 long years of rejections had finally gotten to him.
With this- “the perfect first line”; he began to write (or rather rewrite) the story of his life, not exactly as he had dreamt.

Dhadkan ko Awaz Banade

‘Dhandkan ko awaz bana de smoking smoking nikle re dhuaaa…..’
1,2,3,4,666666 . The significance of six, coming after the number “4”.. Well Anurag Kashap is quite meaningful with his loss. Anurang Kashay lovers must have caught it by now. It’s the long time longing to release his movie ‘Panch’, still waiting to get approved by the censor board (till December 2009). This Oxymoronic director has spilled out many award winning and controversial movies like “Black Friday”, “Gulaal”, and the memorable “Dev D”. A piqued Anurag finds words in the loss of his words and he meaningfully turns to ‘Dhandkan ko awaz bana de smoking smoking nikle re dhuaaa”.

It Is So Difficult to Write

It is so difficult to write….its like lining the edge of a river……fortifying the seemless deluge of life..its onrushing copious flow in varied directions. Its like taming the numerous indulating waves rising and fading ,in one moment, running mad ;to some unknown destinations……. …its pouring out thoughts…giving vent to imagination ,putting soul in the inanimate world of heart , its making the soul of life
so
Palpable that the reader can feel it....its making people realize…life is not
about working…its about breathing the spirit of life……and reaching out the
recesses of heart and
Brain……………..

Movies and More..........

How a simple line can convey so much…..Here’s an example…….
The chaida chaida chaida line from Oye Lucky’s title track. One simple word sung 12 times over.
But notice how the tempo gradually rises as Lucky’s tone changes from simply yearning to rightfully demanding to forcefully commanding.

How our aspirations enchant, embrace and ultimately conquer us. And what roads we take to achieve them.

Your home is my heart

Your home is in my heart,
My heart is like an ocean
I will rock you while you are sleeping,
On a wave of sweet devotion……

Your home is in my heart,
And my heart is very strong,
When you are feeling lonely,
It will carry you along……

Your home is in my heart,
And my heart is everywhere.
Wherever you may wonder,
Know that I am there……….