Being a woman fills your life with so, so many
possibilities, that it is wrong if you ever hold yourself back on anything,
conventional or unconventional to your gender. You were created as a woman. Yet
you can be a man too (by the social description). You can be as much a man, as a
man is. You can dress up in formals, earn in dollars, or be physically robust.
You can support your parents, be the decision maker, take
complete charge of you and your life. But between these, just remember that you
are a woman and there is still more to your identity. You can dress to kill,
you have the luxury of wearing an array of colours, which men usually don’t
have. Remember that style and fashion are dying to be on you. Wearing make up and experimenting with your
look, putting on shoes to sandals to stilettos is your birth right.
And there is nothing wrong in being a romantic. There is nothing wrong
in dreaming, floating in reverie, talking about your girly sentiments, affections,
excitements and passions. Burning away the concepts and ideas which have being
ploughed into you as a girl. Wash away the ashes of social expectations and
live independently on your wet dreams!
And yet this does not describe you completely. You have skills
which you might love, but you will never be able to discover it, for some jerk once
told you that it was too conventional to pursue it. And you believed that. Don’t
stop working on an art which you like, just because someone tells you that its
too conventional. Turn back and find out, what all have you left untouched, believing
someone’s half baked ideas of reform and modernity.
I am a feminist. But that does not make me a man. I have
tried my hands of every girly thing that has appealed to my aesthetic sense.
And imbecile, thought-less people have hated me for my very obvious and evident
girlishness. I cook, I stitch, I do embroidery, I dance, I play guitar, I am a green
belter in Judo, and finicky about my beauty and style statement !
Just know, what you
want from your life. And not let anyone else decide it for you. For only you
know, how your heart beats. And there is no flaw in it. This is how god made it
to beat. Follow its rhythm, rather than tuning it on some other music.
People who have heard words like independence, without
reading it, forget about understanding it, have also hated me. For they think that am not
yet free of my gender. And there will be people who will hate you too, for your
being “excessively” girlish. But if your stop there, and put a check on how you
feel towards shopping, fashion, make-up,
laughing like crazy, being whimsical, sentimental, and more so, of being yourself, just know, you
are emancipated by no means. You are a slave to someone else’s ideas.
So, to all the girls who are a victim of someone else’s
thoughts, I want to make a suggestion that just be yourself. Cook, eat, love
children if you really love them, love nature if you really do, stitch, do embroidery,
love simplicity, or keep adding spice to your look or just do whatever , if you
actually love doing it!
A child is not a poem, a poem is not a child. there is no either/or
- Margaret Atwood
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