Anger is bad. It is bad for health. Chuck the health! Anger is bad
as a part of your personality. It also makes you unapproachable. And it is worse for
people around you! I am angry when I am wronged. Angry might be a little too guiltless,
too neutral word. Still, I am generally a very loving person. Everyone
around me opts to confide in me, and
approach me for suggestions. But yes, I go mad in rage. I am a spitting fire when I am
in rage. I ooze hatred and heat. Every inch of me feels the slithering flames
of this fire. Every atom of me, throbs. My nerves, my blood vessels, throb. And
yes, I come to feel all of these in my body, when I am angry. It is bad! I know
it. Ask our doodle society, they will tell you that it is even worse, since as
I am a girl. I am sure there are a lot of people who are like me.
But why do people behave selfish, mean, deceitful if they
hate my anger so much! I wouldn’t care what my no-kith or kin thought about me.
I don’t give a straw to what rattles in her/his. But if it is coming from
someone I care for, I shout out loud and shriekier. If you have read ‘Mill on
the Floss’, or ‘Jane Eyre’, I swear you know me in and out. The way I was able
to relate with Maggi and Jane , I have never related with any other character
real or fictional. Just like Jane calls
out, “Unjust! Says my reason!!” I shriek, I cry. Just like Maggi, I fail to
understand why people behave the way they do. Why can we not live our own lives,
in our own little space. Because people love to nag? They love to take more
interest in others’ lives than their own. And I swear if they did take interest
in their own lives, their’s wouldn’t be so rotting and sulking. SO full of
grudges and accusations spitted on others. I at least believe in myself and my
own decisions. Wherever I stand today, I take full responsibility and credit of
it. I have no one to hold responsible.
Though, I agree that I need to mend my temper. I need to
mellow down to other’s nonsense and rather choose to dodge it. Embarrassingly,
I have shouted on many, ever since I stepped into youth. My first victims were
my college mates. I have never been able to reconcile with a few of them. And the
lot that stayed with me, I absolutely love you people! Today when I look back,
I realise that everyone is struggling to create her/his own impression. Most of
the people consider themselves losers, and internally keep repeating that they
are the success masters. Trying it hard, till they see this happening. Till
they read it in other’s eyes, till they hear it from others.. I don’t hold a
grudge against anyone, once the anger passes away. I realise, I know, it’s that
neither I, nor no one else has a right to be angry. It’s a kind of sin. A sin.
As you are failing to understand that the other person is weak. Failing to
accept that we all err.
My next victim was my boss from my first office. He was a
pro at handling me. When I would be angry, he would not let me speak. He would
just stare into my eyes and tell me to calm down. He had those snake like, piercing
eyes which enter into you. As my eyes burnt in rage, his piercing eyes and his tact of not letting me speak!<&%(&*!!
would put me in place. He is probably the only person after my dad, who has
been able to put in place.
Being angry is not good. Neither for you, nor for people trying
to survive around you. I have picked up a habit of writing, when I am angry. Instead
of spitting rage on someone, it is better to rant unimaginably self-obsessed
piece of writing, on your blog.
Thanks if you actually read it till the end. :) If you have any opinion about my crazy, self
centered piece, do drop it in the comment box and then leave.
Deeply personal. Rage on Avantika :)
ReplyDelete:) thanks Tiger
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